Have you ever been into a shop and looked at the amount of different types of bottles of water?
They are different in shape, size, colour but yet they all hold the same thing.
Well human beings are the same, we might all look different but we are made up of the same things and about 60% of that is water.
Importantly when it comes to emotions though is whether that water is ‘still’ or ‘fizzy’ and how much fizz or energy each one has.
As human beings we all have some level of ‘fizz’ or energy within us.
There is then a bio-chemical response in all of us that is the effect of emotions and it is the same for everyone. Life presents situations to us that ‘shake us up’ and the emotion (energy) starts to flow.
As Brit’s we are taught quite well that showing emotions isn’t good, isn’t for public and so we are taught to bottle it up (or put the lid on our metaphoric water bottle). The energy can’t go anywhere then and so it gets trapped.
If we relate this to a different type of energy for a second, with electricity for example it is only useful energy if there is no ‘resistance’in the wire and the energy can flow. The same can be seen with a car, an engine will only run while the fuel can flow freely through the engine.
With the concept of Emotional Intelligence, what we are in essence doing is learning to take off the bottle lid and allowing the energy to flow. This means that we have more consistent levels of energy, like the energy that we get from food, water etc when we take energy in but we need to let it flow.
When we bottle up too much energy then we don’t have the energy we need to achieve our goals.
Are you letting your energy flow by using some, are you wasting it on resistance and anger or is it all so tightly bottled up that nothing much of anything happens.
In life there are good things that happen and there are bad things that happen (some of them really bad) but we cannot control them, we think we can but sadly we can’t. So that means that we put lots of energy into worrying about things but ultimately that doesn’t change anything or stop bad things happening sp that energy is wasted.
Instead what we can control are the things we do to ‘get out of’ the bad stuff and deal with the emotions.
With the right tools you can ‘get out of things’ far quicker.
Take for example a change in a relationship. You can spend time trying to hold onto the past or you can accept that things have changed and move forward in a way that is positive to both parties.
When you are caught in ‘wanting’ things to be different then the focus is on not having and psychology suggests that we get more of what we hold in mind. Therefore, if you are focused on the thoughts of not having you will get more of that.
So you need to decide…
Are you going to let your energy flow? Or are you going to keep a lid on it?
For support to free up your energy to work on your goals, book a conversation with me and let’s explore how my coaching programmes could help you.
