From the work I do with accountants and other professionalservice firms, I know that one of the hardest areas of running your own practice is the people side.
Not only is this something that you aren’t necessarily trained in, it also goes against the task focused nature of many people drawn into the profession.
Recruitment of good people at the moment is really tough and so this makes retention even more crucial. This means it always is a disappointment when you get that letter of resignation.
Although when leaders talk to me about people leaving, it often sounds and feels sudden to them, they tell me “Good people just don’tseem to stay”, “I didn’t see it coming” or “We thought things were going well”.
But the honest answer is that most good people don’t leave suddenly at all. They leave quietly after a long period of adjustment,hesitation, and internal negotiation and so by the time a resignation lands,the decision has often been forming for months.
The quiet phase before someone leaves
The reality is that before people leave, they usually change how they show up, maybe they stop offering ideas unless asked, or they becomemore cautious. They do what’s required but no longer stretch beyond it.
They’re still competent, professional and reliable in their work, but something has shifted.
What leaders often interpret as “lack of engagement” could be more accurately described as a protective response, their way of staying safe in an environment that no longer feels supportive or energising.
Why leaders are often surprised
I think it is fair to say that most leaders who lose good people do care about their employees, they continue to invest in their development and not just for CPD.
They often introduce flexibility, add benefits and most importantly they genuinely want to do the right thing.
So, when someone capable leaves, it can feel confusing and even unfair.
But here’s the gap that often exists:
Leaders think in terms of intention. People respond to experience.
And experience is shaped less by what’s offered, and more by how work feels day to day.
Culture isn’t about perks it’s about everyday experience
The easiest way to think about culture is that it isn’t the extra things you add on top of work, it’s how work is experienced when no one is explaining it.
It shows up in:
- how decisions are made
- how pressure is handled
- how mistakes are responded to
- how safe it feels to speak honestly
- how consistent leadership feels under stress
These moments may seem ordinary and part of the day to day, but they quietly shape how people feel about staying.
A generous benefits package can’t offset an environment that feels tense, unclear, or emotionally draining.
How earlier patterns quietly feed disengagement
I have already suggested that people leave quietly first and the earlier signs often appear long before someone leaves.
Some of the patterns of behaviour that feed into them wanting to quietly leave are:
· When ownership feels fragile, capable people carry uncertainty
· When responsibility is unclear, effort becomes cautious.
· When leaders stay central to everything, autonomy feels limited.
Over time, this doesn’t usually create conflict, which is obvious, instead it creates withdrawal which can be overlooked.
Good people don’t always push back, particularly those that are drawn into this type of profession, they are naturally reserved and conflict averse and so often pull back.
They care, perhaps quite deeply in some cases, but they pull back because they’re trying to protect their energy, confidence, or sense of self.
Why good people don’t raise this directly
I am often asked by leaders “Why didn’t they say anything?”
The answer is usually both complex and human.
Good people often:
- don’t want to cause tension
- assume the issue is theirs to manage
- worry about being seen as negative
- adapt quietly rather than complain
So, they lower expectations, they reduce emotional investment, they tell themselves it’s “just how it is.”
Leaving becomes the final step, most likely when they are exhausted from the internal tension.
Retention isn’t a strategy it’s a by-product
Often culture is made to sound like it is a “superpower”, and so it’s easy for that to sound abstract.
In reality, there are some distinctions in terms of how strong cultures tend to feel, they are:
- steady rather than reactive
- clear rather than ambiguous
- human rather than performative
- consistent rather than changeable
Ultimately people stay where they feel they are trusted, understood and that they are able to contribute without feeling the need for constant self-protection.
This means that it can’t be created through simple initiatives, it has to be created through everyday leadership behaviour.
A reflection to leave you with
If you experienced your business through the eyes of one of your most capable people:
- What would feel supportive?
- What might feel quietly draining?
- Where might effort feel energising and where might it feel heavy?
These questions aren’t about apportioning blame, instead I want you to use them to raise your awareness about what might be indirectly happening in your team.
Culture isn’t something people leave for or against necessarily, but it is something that they experience every day until they decide whether it still feels right to stay.
